BIBLICAL POINT OF REFERENCE:
"Chastised a little, they shall be greatly blessed, because God tried them and found them worthy of himself."
A couple weeks ago, I found myself at a low point in life: I was unhappy, exhausted, overworked, close to tears, and all around dissatisfied with life. Obviously that is not a good spot to be in, and while I know we have all had these points in life, I noticed something a bit different this time: I was trying to grow in God's love through it all. Usually, at a time where life drags me down, I tend to step away from my faith and God and everything truly good. Eventually I step out of the depressive state, but I normally depend on myself to do so.
This time, however, I asked God to see me through, and it turns out that that makes all the difference.
I'm going to explain this using the biblical reference above, starting with "chastised a little." When my world seemed to be crumbling down around me, a moment of clarity humbled me. A flaw of mine was pointed out to me. A mistake I didn't even think I had been making seemed so apparent. And it wasn't good - in fact, it was bad enough that I literally felt chastised by God.
After learning of this flaw, I started thinking about what I could do to fix it. I knew I needed to get out of the atmosphere I was in, so I went home for the weekend to my family. There I was able to heal a little bit, which is where the "they shall be greatly blessed" part of the verse comes in, as I am greatly blessed with a supportive and wonderful family.
"God tried them", the next part of the verse, was exactly what I reflected on throughout this whole thing: how God had tried me over the past weeks, and what the reasons why could be. I realized that God was putting this low point in my life because I needed an attitude adjustment, and I needed to be found by Him. I was extremely lost in my spiritual life, and I needed to know that I could depend on Him to help me out.
But the last part of the verse is the best, for God "found them worthy of himself." The journey to recovering from self-dependency has been difficult, but I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere. I've been to Mass and Adoration more, I've been reading the Bible every day, and I've been asking God for His guidance instead of trying to figure it out myself. I'm letting Him make me worthy of Himself.
And I feel great. I've had so many good days lately! I've seen God's love in everything around me, and I'm so happy. I know it won't always be this way, and I know sometimes I'm going to hit roadblocks that make life seem horrible. But sometimes God asks us to venture out into unknown territory because He knows we will like what we find.
It's not all bad - it's not all scary either. Every day is full of new and unchartered waters, but our job is to venture out into those waters when God calls us to. Sometimes it's an attitude adjustment, sometimes it's the need to pray more, and sometimes we don't know what it is, but either way we need Him for it all.
Don't let the low points drag you down when God is clearly pulling you up.
Your Laughing Sister,