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I Still Cave in to my Desires



BIBLICAL POINT OF REFERENCE:

"May he remember your every offering, graciously accept your burnt offering, grant what is in your heart, fulfill your every plan."

~Psalms 20:4-5

One year ago, I wrote an article called "Caved in to Desire." I wrote about how I have Celiac Disease, and how every now and then I would cheat on my gluten free diet for a couple minutes of pleasure. I wrote about how the crosses I was given to bear are confusing, but worthwhile in the end. As I read through this article again, I can imagine myself typing the words I wrote and feeling just as confused as I do now about caving in to my desires. My problems may be a bit different now, and I may have been given different crosses to carry, but the difficulty in knowing what is right and what is my desire can be two completely opposite things, and those are the feelings that are still present.

That was one, whole year ago. And the struggle is still there. In reflecting on my own words to you all, I have realized that I am still just as lost as I was then. I am still learning, of course, but I am still wrestling over how to conquer the wrong desires.

The difference now is that I no longer view those struggles as crosses. Don't get me wrong - they are still crosses to bear, that's just not how I think of them anymore. The term "crosses" doesn't exactly cross my mind when I think of my hardships. Instead, it's all just life to me - and life happens all the time. It's not always fair, it's not always clear, and it's not always understandable. It's just life. And life has crosses that we must bear, even when our desires try and taunt us out of them.

So I have a confession to make: I am still a weak human being. I still stumble and fall and break and sin all the time. I still cave in to my desires, and I am still so afraid that I will not be strong enough to rise above them. New desires - both good and bad - fall into our laps every day, and we have to remind ourselves that God put them there for a reason.

Just like I said one year ago, I'm still trying to figure out why I have the crosses I have, and odds are, I'll never know. So what we need to do is focus on bearing our crosses instead of being angry and upset that we have them. Let's help each other focus. Let's help each other see God's handiwork in the journey of our lives. And finally, let's help each other find the desire to do what Christ wants instead of what we want.

Your Laughing Sister,

Callahan

Check out the PRAYER quotes page for more inspiration!


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