BIBLICAL POINT OF REFERENCE:
"When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the infant leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth, filled with the holy Spirit, cried out in a loud voice and said, 'Most blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb. And how does this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For at the moment the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the infant in my womb leaped for joy. Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled.'”
~Luke 1: 41-45
I don't talk about Mary a lot - Mary as in the Mother of God. And I don't really think about her a lot either. I don't even talk to her or ask her to watch over me. I'm not close with her, and I don't think I ever have been. My sister pointed out that she thought I would have written about Mary by now, and when she said it, I realized two things: 1) That my sister is right, and 2) I need to be closer with our Lord's mother.
When I was a kid, I brought up many fears to my mother: the dark, natural disasters, monsters from movies and books, that kind of thing. When my mom would see that I was scared to be alone at night, she would tuck me into bed and pray for Mary to "wrap me in her motherly mantle", until it became a habit for her to say so as I was going to sleep.
My mom and dad would also tell me to ask for Mary's guidance when I was having any kind of normal female problem, but rarely did I go to her for help. So I grew up with Mary on my mind and in my daily life, even though it was small.
How did I end up not being close with her? I honestly don't know, but what I'm struggling with now is knowing how to grow closer with Mary. It's not like I haven't tried; I've prayed about it, sought guidance from people who are close with her, and I even did a Marian consecration with a few members of my family (which helped hold me accountable during the consecration). A couple years ago I wrote an entire research paper on Mariology and why Mary is so great and a prestigious example of womanhood in the Catholic Church, but no dice.
You see, I know that Mary is the ultimate role model for women of all ages and backgrounds. I know she is gentle, kind, and obedient to the Lord. I know that she comforts those who call out to her, and that she was born without the stain of Original Sin. I know all this, and yet I still struggle to find a connection to her. I can tell that my heart is missing a relationship with her, but I can't seem to reach out and grab ahold of her. It's like I'm pulling my hand away from hers just as they are about to meet, like I'm unsure of what a relationship with her might mean for my spiritual life.
But I've come to understand that, someday, I'll need to keep my hand open and held up high for her to grab onto. I need the help of the holiest woman to become the woman I'm called to be. I need to trust her just as I trust Jesus, and just as Jesus trusts her. The best way I can think of doing this is praying to our Father.
So today I am asking for prayers. I am asking for you all to pray that I can let Mary in, to be my Mother, and to wrap me in her motherly mantle.
Your Laughing Sister,