BIBLICAL POINT OF REFERENCE:
"I will run the way of your commandments, for you will broaden my heart."
Why do I find Your Will so intimidating, Lord? You inspire me on a daily basis and still I have trouble accepting that it is You I should listen to. Why is that?
Have you ever felt called to something, but you weren't sure it was God who was calling you to it? Sometimes we have plans that go very wrong, and we wonder if they were meant to go wrong. Sometimes we have plans that go extremely well, but we analyze every step we took to get to that success, and something still doesn't feel right. It's almost as if God was only there watching, but not guiding.
All my logical senses tell me that God was of course guiding us through those times, it's just that we weren't listening correctly or maybe we weren't listening at all. It's a struggle to separate what we think God is telling us, what the world is telling us, and what we are telling ourselves.
So here's a little story to put things in perspective:
Once upon a time there was a young girl who was given the mission to save the world. She knew the road ahead of her would be tough, and she knew that she would come upon challenges, but she never doubted that God was leading her to the right place and the right future.
One day, the girl was going through a particularly rough time, and realized that she was confused as to what she was really supposed to be doing in life. She realized she didn't know anything for certain, and in her frustration she began to cry.
That is when God lifted her head up and told her that she didn't need to know what she was doing. She didn't need to stress over the confusion of her vocation and the uncertainty of her mission. She just needed to trust in Him, and everything would become much clearer.
God then turned her head, and she saw a boy walking a short distance from her. Upon seeing the girl in such distress, he asked, "Are you okay?"
God smiled, the girl nodded her head, and she responded that everything would be okay.
The girl in the story is me and you and all of us. She is the picture of humanity in the sense that she trusts God more than anything to lead her, but she still falls sometimes to ambiguity in vocation.
So why do we find Your Will so intimidating, Lord? Because the human in us is untrusting towards someone we cannot see or hear like we can other humans. Don't let that fool you: God is still there. And He is leading you to the right place and the right future.
Your Laughing Sister,