BIBLICAL POINT OF REFERENCE:
"In all circumstances, hold faith as a shield, to quench all [the] flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."
I learned from a young age to keep an open mind, to be aware of my surroundings, and to watch out for who I may hurt with my words.
I learned to depend on myself, to lean on God, and to allow my family and loved ones to support me when I needed it most.
And I learned that no matter how hard you try and no matter how much you struggle, your effort to understand God’s plan for your life will be in vain, because there is no way of comprehending such marvelous deeds before the Lord has asked you to live them.
So what’s a girl to do when she has no idea what comes next?
A little over a month ago, I started panicking. I was this close to a nervous breakdown because it was looking like I was going to be out of a job in a matter of weeks. It was completely unexpected, unprecedented, and to me, it felt rather unfair. I had an extremely difficult time staying calm, optimistic, and hopeful in what God wanted from me, and my attitude had really hardened into a negative, lifeless tone.
It’s a wonder anyone can figure out how to move forward when everything they thought they knew comes crumbling down. The biggest question we find ourselves asking during those times of immobility is, “Where do I go from here?” You may even ask God that question several thousand times, but no dice—you’re still roaming around with a question mark above your head.
There is a sense of trust in asking people questions, isn’t there? We ask others questions because we trust that they will give us an answer—any answer, although we hope it’s the answer we’re seeking. We trust that there is someone who knows better than us, and by asking them for an answer, we might be let in on a little bit more knowledge and control of our surroundings and situations.
But have you ever noticed that God doesn’t work like that? He doesn’t mind us asking questions, but He also doesn’t usually give us an outright answer.
Instead, I think He plants ideas in our minds.
They’re subtle ideas, for sure, but if we are quiet enough to hear them, it might spark something wonderful.
That’s what happened when I decided to just stop asking questions and freeze the noise going on inside my head. I needed to breathe—actually, I needed to scream, but it’s unacceptable to do that in public—so I just stopped in my tracks and stood still.
And this time I heard God ask me a question: What is most important?
I blinked back some tears, looked up to the sky, and answered, You are most important, Lord.
An idea sprung into my brain like it had been waiting for me my whole life. Suddenly, I knew what to do and I knew that I had the means to do it. I grabbed a pen and small piece of paper and numbered it 1-5. I wrote “God” next to 1, and from there, I filled in the other 4 most important things in my life. I taped it to my computer at work, and now it is right there for me to see every day.
The 5 most important things for me to remember. The 5 most important things for me to worry about. The 5 most important things for me to judge my actions upon. And God is always going to be at the top of that list.
At this point in my life, I’ve begun to see how silly it is for me to worry about anything that doesn’t fall into one of my most important categories. And more essentially, it’s silly for me to place something that is lower on the list above God, who is my number 1. I don’t have to have it all figured out before I put my trust in Him; I should put my trust in Him to figure it all out. What a relief it is to know that God can help me out with the other 4.
So what happened with my job dilemma, you might ask? Don’t you fret—I’m still working, although I did change departments at the company I work for. You could say I put that worry in a much safer place—it holds the number 5 spot.
Your Laughing Sister,