BIBLICAL POINT OF REFERENCE:
"I command you: be strong and steadfast! Do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD, your God, is with you wherever you go."
Sometimes I wonder if I’m strong enough. Even when I act strong or appear strong to others, I question if it’s enough.
You know that feeling when it’s like the world keeps hitting you with one thing after another? Even if you’ve picked yourself up a thousand times and told yourself it’s gonna get better, life can still kick you in the butt consistently. It can pull at one insecurity while dangling another in your face.
How rude—as if we weren’t already low on self-esteem. Maybe it’s not so hard to see why we are continuously asking ourselves if we are strong enough to bear it. And it’s easy to just stay down in the trenches until the fear has passed—too easy.
This has been my outlook on life lately: One thing after another, pushing me back down to the ground where it seems I belong. And I’ve noticed that now I’m not only questioning my own strength, but God’s. I’m questioning His ability to be strong enough to carry me through those well-aimed blows. I’m questioning His compassion for me because I’m struggling to see His Light. And I’m questioning His Wisdom in giving me so many crosses to carry when I can barely lift one.
It’s not that I don’t understand that there’s a reason for my personal suffering. It’s not even that I might never understand why my life is what it is, because I may never know. It’s that I don’t think He picked a good person to be an example for others.
That’s usually around the time when He sends someone else to show me that I am the right choice.
Maybe it’s through a kind smile, maybe it’s through the feeling of sun on my face, maybe it’s through a conversation that I had with a friend or family member. But each time I am reminded that I am still strong enough if I only have the courage to face my demons.
Do you know that you’re strong enough? Do you know that people are rooting for you to succeed more often than not?
I may not always know my own strength, but God does. And that’s all that really matters.
Your Laughing Sister,