BIBLICAL POINT OF REFERENCE:
"All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for refutation, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that one who belongs to God may be competent, equipped for every good work." ~2 Timothy 3:16
It’s been a month. A month since I last wrote to you all. A month of finishing finals, going home for Christmas, celebrating New Years, and starting classes once again. For me, this is the last time I will start classes. This is my last semester of school, the last time I’ll be living with friends and making my own choices based on my own wants and needs.
Wow. This is it.
I’ve known for a while I’d have to finish college at some point. I haven’t dilly dallied or anything; I’m finishing in four years and moving on to a job near my hometown. It all kind of fell into place, and I couldn’t be more grateful.
Can I be honest with you all? I don’t want to leave my life at school. I’ve gained so much from being away and becoming my own person, and the thought of having to start over at my parents’ house is killing me. I remember wanting to finish high school so I could move away and have my own agenda. I couldn’t wait to be living on my own, even in a small way. And I love my independence—I always have.
But reality is setting in, and it just seems so unfair of God to take away the beauty of me having my own life. But who says life is fair, right?
Amidst all these worrisome thoughts sprinting around in my brain, one stands out: Where is home? It can’t be at school; I’m leaving it in the next few months. And it can’t be at my parents’ house, mostly because I haven’t really lived there since I was seventeen. Not that it has to be a place at all, but it’s nice to have somewhere to land.
So that only leaves one choice: Home is where I make my home. Whether it’s temporary or permanent, home is what I decide it to be. I chose to make college a home for myself when I first moved away, and now I have a choice to make somewhere else a home—probably back in my hometown somehow with my family for a while.
And you know what? That’s okay. You see, I’ve come to learn from the Lord in the last year that discomfort is a commodity only the pessimistic can afford. Change is the rare gem we are all too afraid to seek but know we want to find. Even the small changes in life scare us to pieces because they bring about disruptions to our habits.
But you know what? That’s okay! It’s alright to feel awkward and uncomfortable. It’s alright to not know how you fit into the stage of life you’re at, and it’s alright to be upset about it...at least for a while. Then you have to decide how you’re going to make yourself at home, because no one here on earth will do that for you.
What’s better is that God is with you every step of the way, wanting to be a part of the change that causes you such discomfort. Moving places, or even homes, doesn’t change your ability to live the life you’ve been given. That wonderful, stagnant piece of life is called Love, who is God in every way.
If you take away anything from this article, let it be this: God has allowed you a life to live, so accept the change when he asks you to do so. Home is where God is, and where you decide you’re going to let him in.
Your Laughing Sister,